


i'd be appalled if i saw you ever try to be a saint

by GayMothman (GhostQueen)



Series: don't you ever tame your demons (but always keep them on a leash) [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Gen, no editing we die like robins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-05 23:11:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20496914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostQueen/pseuds/GayMothman
Summary: Ra’s was not a good person, the sky is blue, water is wet. These were all facts that Tim knew. Or at least facts that he thought he knew. Everyday under the roof of Ra’s al Ghul made Tim question how well he really knew the man.+Alternatively: 5 times Ra's al Ghul did something that altered Tim's perception of him and 1 time that Tim did the same.





	i'd be appalled if i saw you ever try to be a saint

**Author's Note:**

> is it subtle manipulation or genuine care? up to you to decide.
> 
> -
> 
> also, i know, i know it's been way more than a few days and i'm sorry. I've been dealing with... a lot of heavy family stuff the past few days, but things are looking up. I had written this before anything happened and I wanted to post both the 5 and the 1 at the same time, but since I don't know when I'll next have the opportunity to write, I decided to leave you with this for now with a promise to return later.

1.

Ra’s was not a good person, the sky is blue, water is wet. These were all facts that Tim knew. Or at least facts that he thought he knew. Everyday under the roof of Ra’s al Ghul made Tim question how well he really knew the man.

The first time he almost died on a mission, he woke up with Ra’s al Ghul at his bedside.

At seeing his eyes open, Ra’s visibly relaxed.

Straightening his back, Ra’s nodded, “Good, you’re awake. Next time please refrain from getting gravely injured, I would hate to have to reclaim my grandson as my heir.”

Sitting up, Tim noticed that he felt… fine, which probably wasn’t a good sign, but still, he gave a light snigger at the comment, “Well, we wouldn’t want that would we?” Tim looked around and saw the bubbling pit near by, “Did I…?”

“No,” Ra’s’ eyes softened minutely, “However you were considerably damaged and used the pit to repair the harm.”

“Oh,” Tim said softly, “Thank you.”

Ra’s smiled begrudgingly, “Yes, well, I cannot have my heir dying before he even takes the throne.”

“No,” Tim felt himself fighting a smile, “I guess not.”

A moment of comfortable silence passed before Ra’s stood up, “I’ll have someone escort you to your quarters. Rest tonight, but we shall talk tomorrow about further training to avoid such circumstances in the future.”

With that, Ra’s walked away and Tim stared after him for a moment. Who knew the man might actually care?

2.

A little known fact about Ra’s al Ghul was that he actually had a sense of humor. Albeit as dry as the Sahara desert, but it was there.

The first time he really witnessed this humor that was when he and Prudence had returned from a recon mission that went off the rails. Tim had a couple bruises, but Prudence got her nose broken… again.

As they stood in front of Ra’s giving a detailed mission report, Tim noticed Ra’s’ eyes keep flicking over to Pru.

At the end of the report, Ra’s nodded with a slight frown, “Thank you, you’re both dismissed, but Prudence?”

Tim looked over at her and was vaguely worried for her well being due to her being the main reason the mission went wrong, but she showed no outward expressions of fear.

She simply looked up at Ra’s and asked calmly, “Yes, Master?”

The edges of Ra’s’ mouth quirked up, “Do try to be more careful with your facial features. I fear one more break and you might not have anything left to salvage.”

Tim didn’t even try to hide his amusement, much to Pru’s dismay, her face having turned bright red.

She nodded, “I will try my best, Master.”

Ra’s’ smile didn’t drop, “That’s all I ask. You both may leave.”

Right after exiting the double doors, Pru punched Tim in the arm.

“Ow!” Tim complained, “What did I do to deserve that?”

She only glared at him, “Oh, you know exactly what you did.”

And, yeah, that was fair, but it was worth it. Tim stuck his tongue out at her and continued on his way.

3.

Tim had never been the most physically skilled Robin, but he’s the most strategic and is very good at predicting moves before they happen. It’s really just a matter of reacting in time with the correct counteraction. Maybe that’s also one of his downfalls; he spends too much time in his head and not enough time acting.

His training regimen is difficult, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He had just finished sparing with the last wave of ninja when he looked up to Ra’s stood there, staring at him with something unreadable in his eyes.

Ra’s nodded, “You’ve done well. But now let’s see if you can pass one final test.”

Tim’s eyebrows furrowed, “Test?”

“Yes,” Ra’s gracefully removed his shirt and grabbed a sword, “Now you shall face me. Let us see if you can best me.”

Tim grabbed a sword as well, it was well balanced and comfortable in his hand, but the sword was not his area of expertise. He would have to rely on predicting Ra’s’ moves in order to have a chance at success, “Very well.”

Ninja were gathering around them to watch.

After tapping their swords together, Tim moved into a ready stance, but Ra’s took no such liberties.

Ra’s started on the offensive, immediately starting a game of cat and mouse, with Tim being the mouse. Taking a defensive strategy was difficult, because it left him with less time to think and was forced to stay in the moment, subconsciously looking for an opening.

To be honest, Tim felt as if he was barely keeping up, but his opportunity finally presented itself. On one particular attack, Tim was able to parry the strike and follow through with an attack of his own, changing the tide of the battle, causing Ra’s to go on the defensive.

In the midst of his attack, Tim had somehow dislodged Ra’s’ sword from his hand before proceeding to knock the older man to the ground, with Tim’s sword pointed at Ra’s’ throat.

Caught up in his victory, Tim smiled smugly, “Do you yield?”

However Ra’s didn’t look defeated, “I yield.”

Removing his sword, Tim offered Ra’s his hand and the older man only hesitated slightly before grasping the outreached hand.

Nodding to himself, Ra’s put his shirt back on and straightened the collar.

After he finished he looked at Tim with something akin to pride in his eyes, “I shall have Lady Shiva continue your training. I have nothing left to teach you.”

Before this, Tim could honestly say that he never expected praise from Ra’s al Ghul to feel so rewarding. All he could do was stare up at the man with slight surprise, “I… Thank you, Master.”

Ra’s laid a hand on Tim’s shoulder, with a small smile playing on his lips, “You’re welcome,” he retracted his hand, “You’re free to return to your quarters.”

With that, Tim nodded and left.

4.

The next thing Tim learned about Ra’s al Ghul was something he wasn’t supposed to see. He had entered the room with the intention of delivering information, but just as he was about to turn the corner, he heard voices and stopped short.

“Father, you misunderstand,” Talia al Ghul’s voice rang out, “I can’t just replace him with a science experiment!” She sounded on the verge of tears.

“No… I suppose you can’t,” Ra’s sounded oddly subdued, “Damian may not have been the perfect heir we expected him to become, but he was your son.” Tim noted how Ra’s didn’t mention Damian being his grandson, but overall the intention of the sentence was meant to be comforting.

But Tim was more focused on the implication that Damian, Tim’s little brother, was dead. Tim felt his heart stop.

For a while he heard crying and not much else.

“What do I do now?” Talia’s voice was weak, hopeless. While she had never been the perfect mother by any means, it was obvious now that she truly cared for her son.

“I… I’m not sure,” Ra’s al Ghul usually has a plan for everything, but not this. None of them had a plan for this.

There was silence.

Then sniffling.

“I should go. I thought I would be the one to inform you of his passing. Goodbye, Father.”

“Goodbye, Talia,”

Then footsteps and a door closing.

“Come out, Timothy,”

Normally, Tim would have cursed himself for getting caught eavesdropping, but right now, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Tim stepped out from around the corner, and saw a run-down version of the Ra’s al Ghul he knows and Tim couldn’t stop his voice from cracking, “Is it true?”

Ra’s nodded, “Damian has passed.”

It’s one thing to overhear it, but it’s another to hear the news directly. Tim looked down, tears clouding his vision.

Looking up, a tear escaped without his permission, “Master, may I…?”

“You may return to Gotham for the funeral. I shall have a flight prepared for you in the morning,” Ra’s sounded somewhat sympathetic, something Tim had not heard from him before.

“Thank you,” Tim bowed his head, discretely wiping the tear away.

Ra’s seemed conflicted for a moment before resting a hand on his shoulder, a sad smile resting on his face, “Anything for family.”

5.

It was his first birthday since joining the League of Assassins and, honestly, Tim expected the day to pass as usual and for no one to bring it up. Tim could count the number of times he’s celebrated his birthday on one hand, so he was fine to ignore his birthday for one more year.

There was nothing particularly exciting associated with age 19. He was already a legal adult in most countries, he could legally drink in a total of 138 countries, he could legally buy scissors in the UK, but he still couldn’t legally drink in the United States until he’s 21 or even rent a car until he’s 25.

It was just another year and Tim was okay with that.

So, it was a bit surprising when his presence was requested in a random conference room when there was no meeting on his agenda for the day. Still, he walked into the room with the expectation of business being conducted and not being assaulted with an airhorn immediately after opening the door.

In addition to the slight hearing loss he might have gotten as a result of the airhorn, he was also currently being covered in confetti.

“Happy Birthday!”

He somehow couldn’t hold back a smile as he saw the smiling faces of Z, Owens, and Prudence.

Shaking the confetti out of his hair, he was still smiling, “How did you guys know it was my birthday?”

Pru smirked, “You do know that Tim Drake is technically a public figure, right? All we had to do was Google your name and got all kinds of information, including your birthday.”

Tim shook his head with a small laugh, “Of course. How did I not see that coming?”

“Oooh, is the world’s greatest detective losing his touch?” Owens teased while swinging an arm around Tim’s shoulders.

Z chuckled, “That’s enough, guys. Let’s make him open presents,” He grabbed Tim’s arm and led him to a chair at the end of the table. On the table were… four presents. He figured the first three were from his teammates, but who was the fourth one from?

“Oh! Open mine first,” Pru basically shoved the box into his hands.

“Okay, okay,” Tim laughed and began undoing the purple wrapping paper, but Tim had a feeling that he already knew what it was.

Yep.

Inside the box laid a custom red handgun with gold embellishments. Tim didn’t really use guns, still not his weapon of choice, but they were quick and efficient, so he tolerated their usage. Pru obviously thought he needed to use them more.

He smiled up at her, “Thanks, Pru. I’ll try to get some use out of it.”

“Pff. You better!” She lightly punched Tim in the arm, “I don’t want my gift going to waste.”

He rolled his eyes, “It won’t.”

“Good,” Owens pushed his way forward, “Now, me. Here,” He tossed a small blue package at Tim.

Catching it, Tim took off the black bow and tore into the paper, inside the box was a set of gold throwing knives. Now, this was something he would use.

Picking up one, he gingerly ran his thumb over the blade, admiring the thin line of blood that appeared, showing the pristine quality. He placed it back and looked up at Owens with a smile, “These are awesome and I will definitely use these,” he gave a pointed look to Pru, who stuck her tongue out at him.

Owens’ cheeks turned a light shade of pink, “Yeah, well your aim with projectiles is insane, so I thought you might like them..”

“Well, I love them. Thank you, Owens,” Tim set the knives next to his new gun.

Z pushed off the table he was leaning on, “I guess it’s my turn then. Here,” he slid a small red package across the table to Tim.

Tim took it and carefully pulled the paper away, revealing a first edition copy of Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller. Tim’s breath caught in his throat, taken aback by the almost mint condition of the book, “I… where did you even find this?”

Shrugging, Z smirked, “I have my ways,” the smirk gave way to a softer smile, “So, I take it you like it?”

“Like it?” Tim was still blown away, “You bought me a first edition copy of my favorite play; I love it, Z!”

Pru started grumbling under her breath about Z ‘showing her and Owens up’.

Z chuckled, “I’m glad. Now, let’s move on the the last gift on the table,” Z moved to grab it.

“Yes! I’ve been dying to know what’s inside!” Pru tried to grab it from Z, but he held it out of reach.

“But, uh, who’s it from?” Tim still had no idea.

Owens slapped him on the back, “From the big boss, brother.”

Ra’s al Ghul got him a birthday present and Tim honestly had no idea what to expect.

Z, after keeping it from Pru’s reach, handed Tim a box wrapped in dark green wrapping paper with a gold ribbon. Untying the ribbon, Tim set it aside with the rest of the bows before lifting the lid and…

Oh. Oh Wow.

Tim wasn’t even touching it and he felt like he was going to break it. It was Leica M 246 monochrome camera and a 35mm lens. This gift alone had to be almost twenty thousand dollars, but Tim was born into money, so the cost wasn’t what stunned him. It was the fact that Ra’s al Ghul knew Tim’s hobbies and wanted to encourage them.

Not quite the thing one would expect from an eco-terrorist.

Tim picked up the note that laid inside the box,

_“Dearest Timothy,_

_ This past year has been exceptionally onerous for you and I am nevertheless too cognizant of my own shortcomings not to have perceived that I have demanded a great deal from you. Yet, in spite of my unreasonable expectations, you have never failed to impress me, only reaffirming my selection of you as my heir. In celebration of the day of your birth, I have acquired this as token of my appreciation in the hopes that you may return to your roots and continue a favored pastime of yours._

_Best regards,_

_Ra’s al Ghul”_

The first camera Tim had ever gotten was from his parents, but it was never personal. Janet and Jack Drake only cared about simulating the idea of love through meaningless, but expensive presents. They could have never predicted how much Tim would take to the seemingly useless hobby, but it was still the best present he’d ever been given.

But this? This was a close second.

**Author's Note:**

> "what? why didn't Ra's offer to use the larzarus pits for damian?" idk plot man


End file.
